when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I want a musical about memes.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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