He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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