Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
