Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
