what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
