I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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