Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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