Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
