i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
