What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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