Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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