I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
