Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
