so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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