He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
