I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
