Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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