Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
