you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
third nipple confirmed
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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