im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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