he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
