Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Someone signed my nipple.
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