Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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