my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
