Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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