i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
