Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
