Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Church boner. Awkwardddd
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
