I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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