You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
