Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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