Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize