try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
