Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im holly from the hills drunk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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