A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
