I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
