So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
