do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
