thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
