So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
