Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
