He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is it penis luge time yet?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
