I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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