it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i've created a new STD.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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