so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
