No stitches, just platelets and will power
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
