If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
