I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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