I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
