Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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