In the future we'll all be gay
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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