You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
