More tranny stories later!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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