Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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