So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
