he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
