I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
