my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
