im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
