I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
