i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The beers last night were like the tears from god
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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