she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
